One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
