New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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