I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
