i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
