Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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