I just cut my nipple shaving
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize