Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
