What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
