i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
