She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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