I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
