The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
