Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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