My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
