I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
