Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
