I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
ok first of all what the fuck
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
