Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
