Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
