I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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