Taylor Swift is so right about you.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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