Me. At least after what I've been through.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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