I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
