At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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