i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
