if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
