Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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