My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
