we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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