her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
