Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
