I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
