yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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