THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
