too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize