are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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