Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
