So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
