WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
