Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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