dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
