i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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