it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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