The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
These tits shall not be calmed
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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