i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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