I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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