Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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