Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
