We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
