guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
