3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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