What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I am naked and annoyed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
