I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
