I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
