its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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