sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize