doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize